Nostalgic

I can't help finding myself looking through old pictures and old posts almost everyday, remembering the good times I used to have with good friends that never seem to be around anymore. I'm begining to realize the older I get the further my friends are away from me. So many people move away go to school and get into relationships, and never have time for a friend anymore. I still maintain my friendship with them but it seems to slowly fade away with each passing day. I guess I always look to the past because thats when everyone was closer to me friend hung out together instead of in seperate little groups. Everyone seemed to care more for each other and weren't so tied up in confusing relationships that control their lives. I know things cant be the same again and I don't expect it to change but, I just dont get how people can change soo much and forget about and take advantage of the friends that have helped them through some things in their lives. I've felt so used lately and I've come to realize for most of my life I have been what some people may call a pushover, or a sucker. Everything I have pursued has been for the benefit of someone else and everything I hoped for was not for myself, but for someone else who I cared about and would do anything for them. Many times I have questioned myself if I just care too much if I am just too nice and am I really just a pushover and a sucker that everyone uses to push off of, but then I got to thinking, If I wasn't who I was all these years would I have really met the wondeful friends that I have met? Would I have been there to help the many people that have need my help at times? Would I have done the things that I have done for anyone else? Would I really be me? I figure doing all these things I have done are really what makes me who I am. They are what have made people trust in me and my advice to aid them with life's problems. They know that they can seek comfort when they are troubled and have someone to listen to them with out any judgement. So I dunno maybe I am a pushover and maybe I'm a sucker that is used, but its what makes me... me and I'm ok with that now even if I do get taken advantage of I'm glad I could have helped that person on their way even if they dont appreciate it. I'm sure it will all work out for me it the long run. Even if nice guys finish last I'd rather be trusted and there for everyone then to be first and leave everyone behind to fend for themselves, somehow last place seem more rewarding that way. Anyways thats all I have to say for now, Until next time...